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| "Raise your glasses ladies. This sh*t may be awful, but at least we have jobs again..." ~Lisa "You betta call me LisaRaye" Raye |
I do so rarely, but I do tweet. It usually takes something of epic proportions (at least to me) to make me do so. And do so I did last night, because #SingleLadies, VH1's new "Romantic Comedy" series, was effin terrible. So bad that I had to use my 140 rarely-used characters to say just how much.
VH1 was plenty clever, airing the 2-hour premiere directly after the now beloved Basketball Wives season premiere, thereby catching a lot of women who like trashy television for the second show.
That, unfortunately, included me. And Single Ladies had me. For about 12 minutes. By this time, I had discovered a few things to be true:
1. People throw around the term "romantic comedy" far too freely.
And by people, I mean everyone involved with this show. There are very few (if any) romantic comedies shot in an hour-long format. And even fewer comedies of any kind shot in an hour-long, zero-laugh format. Seriously--there was nothing comic about this show. It was a bunch of obvious one-liners, sad sistagurl jokes (delivered, oft time, by the white one, no less), and complete lack of comedic timing.
2. I'm really pissed off at Queen Latifah.
In my book, she can do no wrong. Sure--she makes jazz albums that no one buys, and won't just come out already (Queen: ask Ellen--you can be here, be queer, and still be rich. Who gives a crap?), but in reality, her singing voice is actually quite soothing and I could care less if she likes to snuggle up to another pair of twins.
So again, I thought she could do no wrong. That was, until I watched this show she produced. I just knew that with her name attached to it, it would have some artistic integrity. After all, she's a Covergirl and a decently bankable star--with 30 Rock cameos and all:
Fact of the matter seems to be, no matter how many times you star, guest star, or cameo in well made television and film, you can apparently still behave like you graduated from the Ice Cube School of Production when you get behind the lens.
To a friend of mine (shoutout to @Tookstastic), I described the show as "the ultimate combo of pretty people, famous people, and pretty famous people acting pretty poorly." Her amusing and seemingly feasible retort? "Should I watch it on mute?" You'd think that would solve the problem--but even without sound, the hotmess.com that this show is would still be palpable.
Poor production value has nothing to do with what you hear--you can tell a bad show without ever hearing a single word. Log into your Netflix Watch Instantly account, choose "African Amerian Comedies" from the genre section, choose any of the "romantic comedies" you see (best to go with one named something like "Three Ways to Find a No-Good Man on the Down Low in the Lord's House.").
Mute it.
Watch it.
Then, after you get over your shock/surprising happiness at seeing Leon working again, you'll notice exactly what I'm talking about. It's like cinematography is an unheard of value...the sets are always totally unrealistic...I don't why black filmmakers love the soft-screen effects so much...and let's be honest: you can SEE overacting long before you hear it.
And, despite Queen's experience in the world of quality film-making, she falls victim to the same things.
3. I'm also pissed off at Common.
You have the chance to be a straight up, legit, mainstream star that hasn't abandoned black folk and black projects. Scratch that. WELL-MADE black projects. (See: Just Wright--not the perfect movie, but a HUGE step up from Single Ladies.) My beautiful Chi-Town boo, what the hell happened? I am not pleased, no matter how much your freckles make me coo.
4. No matter how we try, black television may never return to its Cosby-Different World-Fresh Prince heyday. In reality, those shows were bookended by Family Matters and In the House (poor, poor Maia Campbell...), so it's not as if everything was perfect.
But even with Shonda "Midas Touch" Rhimes on our side these days, it seems that we are stuck in the Meet The Browns-Single Ladies-The Game rut for a while to come.
Hopefully Kerry Washington will save us. I'm all for that. (Note: I also want to be her.)
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